I Remember Theta and Koschei
by Lady of Something
Summary: In memory of Theta and Koschei, the two Time-Lords that want awry- they weren't together. Yes, it's Master/Doctor in the 3rd chapter. And it's lame. But just read it.
1. I am Theta, and I Remember

**I Remember Theta and Koschei**

Disclaimer: Doctor who probably doesn't belong to a girl still in school.

**xXx **

I remember when I was Theta, and you were Koschei, and we would lie back on the red-grassed hills of Gallifrey, and we would point at different planets in the night sky, and make a list of where we would go.

I remember when I was Theta, and you were Koschei, and I looked into the Untempered Schism, and I saw my life, and you weren't in it. And I ran to you, and I cried in your arms as you told me that it would be OK, even though we knew it wasn't.

I remember when I was Theta, and you were Koschei, and we went into the Academy, and we were in the top class, and our parents were so proud of us, and they told us so, and we were smiling for the rest of the week.

I remember when I was Theta, and you were Koschei, and every Friday night, we would sneak out, and lie on the hill we called 'ours', and we made our list, and we would hold each-other as the second sun set.

I remember when I was Theta, and you were Koschei, and we fought over a silly, stupid thing, and you told me you hated me, and ran off, and I spent the next years wondering why.

I remember when we graduated, and I was The Doctor, and you were The Master, and I wanted to be the one to hug you after it was all over, not her. Koschei, why are you so far away?

I remember when you married her, and I was at the wedding, because it was on the same day as mine. I married my best friend because if we didn't, father would disown me. Koschei, what did I do?

I remember when you regenerated for the first time, and I was standing against the wall, watching as she ran over to your side, and when you woke up and kissed her, I walked away. Koschei, what have we done?

I remember when I stole a TARDIS and ran away, and it felt so wrong, because we had planned to do that together, and I went to all the places on our list, but you didn't. Koschei, why aren't you here?

I remember when I saw you at your worst, and you weren't even fully alive anymore, and I wanted to cry. Koschei, what have you done to yourself?

I remember all the other times I saw you, but you were an enemy, and I fought you and you wanted to kill me. Koschei, what has become of us?

I remember when I killed them all, Time-lords and Daleks alike, and me hoping that you weren't burnt in the blaze when I couldn't find you. Then I found you, years later, but you weren't Koschei. Koschei, where have you gone?

I remember when you kept me locked up and tortured me and my friends for a year, and I knew that I would forgive you every time, no matter what. Koschei, what has happened to you?

I remember when you died, and my mind was silent, and I was alone, really and truly, and all I could think about was how my friends must hate me for still loving you after all this time and after all you did. Koschei, where are you?

And, for the first time since I met you, I am well and truly alone. I've lost you.

You win.


	2. I was Koschei, and I Wish I Could Forget

Disclaimer: Yeah, still a girl in middle school that doesn't own any BBC shows. Darnit!  
**xXx**

I remember when I was Koschei, and you were Theta, and we would lie back on the red-grassed hills of Gallifrey, and we would point at different planets in the night sky, and make a list of where we would go.

I remember when I was Koschei, and you were Theta, and I looked into the Untempered Schism, and I heard the drums. And I ran to you, and you let me cry in your arms, and we knew it wasn't OK, because the drums never stopped.

I remember when I was Koschei, and you were Theta, and we went into the Academy, and we were in the top class, and our parents were so proud of us, and they told us so, and we were smiling for the rest of the week.

I remember when I was Koschei, and you were Theta, and every Friday night, we would sneak out, and lie on the hill we called 'ours', and we made our list, and we would hold each-other as the second sun set.

I remember when I was Koschei, and you were Theta, and we fought over a silly thing, and I told you I hated you and ran away, and I didn't go near you for the rest of your time on Gallifrey, and I forgot about you.

I remember when we graduated, and I was The Master, and you were The Doctor, and I hugged my girlfriend when it was all over, and pretended I didn't see you, because it hurt too much, and I wouldn't say sorry. Theta, I'm so sorry I'm not there.

I remember when I married her, and I pretended I didn't see you, and that I wasn't watching when you married your best friend, and that I didn't know you were forced into it. Theta, you didn't do anything wrong, I promise.

I remember when I first regenerated, and pretended I didn't see you leaning against the wall, and I remember when you first regenerated, and how old you were when you did. Theta, I'm so sorry for what I've done.

I remember when I first got my TARDIS: it was the latest model, and I'd heard that you'd stolen a type 4, and had run away. I'm so sorry I'm not with you.

I remember burning through regenerations like wildfire in a forest, and turning into a mangled, burnt carcass and seeing you for the first time in years. Theta, I don't know what happened to me.

I remember fighting you, and only being half in control of my body, and having the drums pound through my head, calling you my enemy. Theta, I'm so sorry for what I've done to us.

I remember when they brought me back, but I ran. Ran away from Gallifrey, the war and you. I remember the silence in my head, and how only you remained, and I realised that you'd killed them all, so I hid. Theta, I don't know where I've gone.

I remember when I locked you up and tortured you and your friends for a year but I couldn't stop it and I hated you and I didn't know why. Theta, what has happened to me?

I remember when I was dying in your arms and the drums were going but I wanted to cry, because your head would be silent and you really would be alone this time. I said I wasn't coming back out of spite, but it was really because I couldn't. Theta, help me, please, I don't know where I am! Please... please help me, Im not me and I don't know where I am but you aren't here and I didn't even tell you how sorry I am.

And Ive won, because this time you've really lost everything. But I haven't won, because I lost the one thing that really mattered: you. And I didn't even get to say it. But, hey, silver lining: the drums are gone.

But even that's not worth it.

**xXx**


	3. I Am Koschei, and We Are Reunited

Disclaimer: Don't you get it!? Girl, Middle school, don't own.  
**xXx**

I blinked, only to slam my eyelids shut. The light was too bright. I heard a rustle of fabric by my ear, and through my eyelids, I saw the room darken. I opened my eyes, and saw your anxious face above me.

"Theta?" I choked out. Your face split into a large grin. Oh, how I'd missed it.

"Koschei! Oh my god, Koschei..." You brought me into your arms and held me as I sobbed into your shoulder.

"I'm... so... sorry!" I sobbed, glad to get the chance to finally tell you, and I was so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. You just pat my back and let me cry. You were always better at these kinds of things. When I was finished, I tried again.

"I... I love you." I said tentatively, looking into your eyes, afraid of rejection, afraid that I'd waited too long to tell you.

You hugged me again, and mumbled into my hair, "I love you too." And we were Theta and Koschei once more.  
**xXx**

_Ta-da! I did it! A story that isn't a one-shot! Again: Love it, hate it, burn it? Constructive criticism is always appreciated!_


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